How does one create healthy boundaries with a really whiny and difficult person who wont shut up?
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
by Summer Rose
I ran across a question on Yahoo answers that I would like to answer on my blog because I have some opinions about it and insight into it:
“How does one create healthy boundaries with a really whiny and difficult person who wont shut up?”
Effective Strategies:Acknowledge the person’s presence and worth as a person but redirect the conversation off of their problems, which can be done a number of ways.Remind the person that everyone has problems, including yourself, and that they are not unique in being the only one with problems, self-doubts, etc.Express faith in their ability to figure things out.
Ask yourself what they are getting out of the behavior. (Attention, for example)
Acknowledge what the person said but redirect it and say that you are not the best at solving these types of things but that counsellors have training in these areas.
Encourage the person to pursue their own goals and interests and development of identity, realizing that if they knew themselves better they might be more self-contained.
Acknowledge appropriate behaviors and ignore inappropriate ones.
What has a tendency to backfire:
Put up with poor behavior not saying anything for a long time and then suddenly hightail it to the other end of the earth, with or without comment, or ignore them once and for all - which drives the other person crazy.
The most important thing is to realize that the whiny and difficult person is still a person and has intrinsic worth. You may or may not be able to alert them to how they look like to others and in self-care may have to withdraw at times. If you are able to communicate verbally or nonverbally that it’s their behavior that you’re rejecting and not rejecting them, you may have more luck. What any human being wants is to be acknowledged, loved, and paid attention to. What you pay attention to - grows - so focus on something positive about the person and maybe you can make that grow.
Be generous and buy me a coffee!Popularity: 14% [?]
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
