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September 30, 2008 by Summer Rose

Every morning say to yourself “Thank you!”

IMPORTANT CAREER
Your job is important and will help you to grow as a person in ways you never would have imagined. Because of your work, many disabled and aging people are able to stay independent and live in the comfort of their own homes, and receive a higher quality of care than if they lived in a nursing facility. Because of your work, people can choose their own surroundings, their own diet, watch what they want on TV, have pets and plants, go on excursions, not have a roommate, and be around their family but not have their family under great strain of caring for them. They are also not exposed to inadequate care or abuse in nursing homes, and in-home care is more cost effective than long term facility care.

IMPORTANCE OF YOUR WELLBEING
Because of the importance of this job, and even more, the importance of your own wellbeing, it is important that to understand how to give care on a sustainable level rather than on a level that will lead to burnout on both the physical and emotional level. You have to put yourself first. If everyone else’s needs come first, you will become drained. If you put yourself first, you can give care to the people who need it the most, the ones who can no longer care for themselves. Self-care – exercise – nutrition – medical appointments – rest – hydration – quality sleep - time to do nothing – napping - time to spend with friends - is the support that holds you up. It is important to take time to have life. Work-life balance is essential. Power naps have the capacity to regenerate energy and make the rest of the day awesome. Be alert to circumstances in your working environment which may compromise your physical or emotional safety and put your need to be safe first. Many medical visits are made due to stress.

DEVELOPING A SOLID ROUTINE
Seek regularity in scheduling. Erratic hours cause problems with self-care (eating, exercising, relaxation time, brushing teeth), and with being able to spend time with friends, which cause a downward spiral in energy and outlook. Working with the same person every day is important for developing a rapport that will help in rough times and for familiarity with tasks, routine, and for the client’s continuity of care. Working as a substitute will give one a great deal more experience in a short period of time but in the end, it is important to find clients you can be assigned regularly to.

It is important to clarify what the family of the client wants and to ask if you are meeting their needs. It is important to be open to suggestions and ask for critique. If you don’t make sure that you are meeting each other’s needs, and make sure that they know you are teachable and open, you can easily end up on their “Do not send” list, which then makes you wonder what you did wrong (mental stress), and then has you searching for another client to replace them – which is exposure to a great deal of stress in finding new addresses and getting used to another house and another client’s behaviors and habits.

DO YOUR BEST BUT GIVE UP PERFECTIONISM AND SELF-INDUCED STRESS
A sense of humor is vital to making the most of every situation and every day. If you take yourself too seriously and try to be too perfect, you may only find out you are not perfect, the other person isn’t either. Realize that there is no such thing as the perfect caregiver but that being a caregiver is a continual lifetime learning process. As much as you want to look like the perfect caregiver and not admit to feeling like you fail at times, it is important to admit to your supervisor when you are having problems coping with your work load and are stressed above your comfortable stress threshold by the clients that you have. Ask for resources – ask for the positive feedback you have gotten from clients. Good, qualified caregivers are difficult to find. It’s in their best interest to help you find a comfortable medium so that you can continue to care for clients, and so that you make a good impression on the clients. If you are stressed and make a bad impression, they look bad too.

It’s not your responsibility to please anyone except yourself. If someone is not happy with you, it is not necessarily your fault and you don’t need to change to please someone. You need to find out who *you* are and then vibrate to what you want. It isn’t necessary to take on assignments just to please the office. In the end, if you have not pleased yourself first, you will end up under stress and then they may not be pleased with you anyway.

KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO GO - OR LET GO - OR SAY NO – OR NOT PICK UP
There’s a time to quit a client whose behaviors exceed your capacity to effectively care for them or for yourself. Remind yourself: “I don’t need to be the hero. I need to take care of myself first because if I don’t care for me, no one else will. “ There comes a time to have to let go of the outcome and let go of any desire to fix anything. Many people do not want to change their lifestyle habits to get healthier or don’t know how to change – and it must be accepted.

Saying No to extra responsibility that will compromise your time for self-care is extremely important. A two hour shift offered to you at the last minute when overbooked is not more important than getting adequate sleep, getting a walk, getting a proper breakfast, and getting a nap. The office will not spend a half hour thinking bad about you for turning them down – they will try to find someone else.

Protecting both sleep and the day from interruptions is very important. This means shutting off phone ringers and tending to voice mail when convenient. Reminder to self: “It is not my responsibility to be reachable at all times.” After you gave your availability – you remind yourself, “It’s not my responsibility to bail out one or both agencies in a pinch when I am already working more hours than I feel physically comfortable with. I will say YES when I feel comfortable saying yes, and say No when my gut says no. If they need more caregivers to cover the need, they will hire more. “

PREVENTABLE CAREGIVING STRESS
Caregiving stress happens as a result of crossed boundaries, either on the part of the client, the client’s family, or the caregiver. When you are keeping your own boundaries, you are physically and emotionally well matched to the assignment. If they cross your boundaries, whether you are aware of those boundaries or not, you can become very ill or be taken advantage of. Boundaries serve to protect us.

It is important to assertively ask for what you want instead of settling for whatever comes up first. It may take awhile to get it, but speaking up is important to do.

Half days do not equal relaxation. Seven half days are just as draining as full work days. Full days where the whole day belongs to me helps me to bounce back from the stress. Two days off in a row are the best for bouncing back from the tension of the work week.

You may enjoy the people you work with, but they may change their mind about you, or, they may die. Keep enough distance so that you will not be hurt if that occurs.

Scheduling clients in harmony with your body’s energy and sleep-wake rhythms results in peak alertness.

When you have exceptional difficulty with maps and getting to client homes without making wrong turns, invest in a GPS system. Together with a cell phone to be able to call the office, and MapQuest printouts, and allowing three times more time than Mapquest says – for getting to a new address – this helps reduce stress a TON.

DEVELOPING A INDIVIDUALIZED STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN
Having an official, individualized stress management plan is important. To develop this, notice and write down what triggers a stress reaction, how you felt, how you dealt with it, and how you could do it differently next time. This is a continuing process of learning who you are in relation to what you are being asked to do, and being able to match it more and more so that who you are equals what you are being asked to do, and so that chronic problems are resolved. Knowing more and more what makes you relax, working to change the items which can be changed, and avoiding ones which need to be avoided – make for a sustainable way to work as a caregiver.

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